Labels

absolute awesomeness addiction Adversity An Uncommon Whore angels animal rescue animal welfare Anne Kane anxiety aquamarine author corner bad angels bad weather Barbara Elsborg BDSM bdsm romance belinda mcbride BelindaPalooza Belindapendence Belle Starr beverages bisexual bisexual romance Black Planet Blacque/Bleu blog hop Broken Cancer CAPA changeling press characters cherise sinclair China chronic pain Coming Out contests cooking courage craft creativity culinary competion custom art cyber punk Dark Haven deadlines Deeply blog demons depression dog shows dogs Doms of Dark Haven Dos Lunas Dragon's Blood drawings druids election embarrassment EPIC Winner erotic romance erotica expressive writing faith family fantasy fear femme domme fiction Film fire firefighters France free reads full moon futuristic genre hopping ghosts goldenwolfen grand prize greco-roman culture halloween happiness haunted mansions head/desk health heroines hide my head in shame Hong Kong human trafficking Iditarod Inspirational jessica freely Jessica Freely jianne carlo Kate Roman KC Burn Lance Mackey las vegas Last Call Europe lena austin lex valentine LGBT lifestyle linda suzane Lisabet Sarai little Dragon Little Dragon Little Foxes loose Id lost pets love scenes lucky in red lynn lorenz m/m m/m romance Madly martial arts martini mary winter meditation menage romance menege mental illness My Birthday mythology NaNoWriMo New Concepts Publishing new release New Year's Giveaway News nutrition overcoming pack politics paranormal paranormal romance Paris Passion in Print passionate plume pearls personal pet peeves PETA PL Nunn positivity procrastination Rainbow book awards real life release dates Review Risk romance save the quiet kitty science fiction Sele selena illyria shape shifters Sheri Lewis Wohl shunga siberian husky sidhe sierra cartwright slavery smoke snow snowfire: chrysalis space opera speculative fiction St John and St Thomas stupid mistakes succubus survival Suzanne Rock Tara Lain terrorism The Next Big Thing The Romance Reviews Tiger Eyes time off TMI Tony Leung travel Truckee Wolves Truly urban fantasy valentine's day vampires vampiropolis weight weight loss well being werewolves When I Fall wicca wildlife witches wolves World building world events writer's block writer's health writers block writing writing habits yacht

Sunday, May 4, 2014

What it Means to Hurt



Another convention has come and gone. :) This one took a little consideration and cogitation, letting it all sink into my brain and bubble around...
 
Yup. Bondage Expo. Not your ordinary convention.

This was hosted in the Crowne Plaza in Dallas Texas, and the hotel was conveniently located near Tiff's Treats, home of the world’s most wonderful cookies, available by delivery. :)

I arrived on Thursday, which gave me plenty of time to wander, explore the area and obviously, find the best bakery around. Once my roommate arrived (the fabulous J.A. Rock) we were off and running, attending workshops, a short signing, a play party and of course, the free range roping area. Being Texas, there were subs running around being lassoed and hogtied...just like a scene from Doms of Dark Haven!

I didn't get to attend all the workshops I wanted to, largely because of the book signing, but there were three that were outstanding for various reasons. Because of a situation I'm wrangling with in a manuscript (Destiny, anyone?) I decided to gird up my loins and attend those that focused primarily on pain.

Pain.

Ouch.

The workshops were "Because it Hurts," "Pain and Fear Play" and "Semenawa: The Beauty of Suffering."

Every workshop approached the giving and managing of pain via different perspectives. In "Because it Hurts" the presenter showed us pressure points that could be manipulated with rope and knots. His focus was on shifting the sub between the endorphin rush created by pain, and the adrenaline that negates the pain dulling properties of the endorphins.

In "Pain and Fear Play," the approach was similar, but the intent was more to keep the sub on an adrenaline high which is created not only by fear, but by the anticipation of fear. The presenter bound his partner to a chair and throughout the presentation, occasionally tipped the chair, keeping her on the rise and fall of fear.

The third presentation was the most difficult for me personally. The presenter took elements of Japanese tortures and adapted them to an erotic, BDSM environment. Like the others, he was manipulating the pain and fear of his partner, but on a higher level, as the methods were indeed derived from torture. He bound his partner in painful and difficult positions, suspended her, taunted her by simply sitting and watching her hurt. He also brought in breath play, which is frightening on so many levels. His intent was to keep the sub in a pain/fear state, leading to a state of hopelessness and surrender. This was play on a different level, and while I admire both the Dom and his volunteer, he scared me on a visceral level.

All three were of immense value to me as a writer, giving me insight to some of what my characters see, experience and crave. The workshops I attended were all hands-on, so I not only had the opportunity to watch the presenter, but the attendees as well.

Hopefully, I'll get the chance to attend again next year. In the meantime, Destiny is about to show her Dom the meaning of pain...

Happy tails! And happy May! I'll be on the convention trail for several weeks; hopefully I'll get a chance to post from the road.

 Bel